Pine Fresh Shenanigans: The Artpad Files

A collection of drawings made via Artpad usually about baseball, mostly Red Sox related, but sometimes is ventured outside of that realm.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

FAQ just for you

It's been a week or so since I opened this up and I thought it'd be appropiate to do up a bit of a FAQ thing for anybody whose curious.

First off, what is this all about?!

Well I'm glad you asked, this is just a collection of drawings I drew courtesy of the Artpad Painter. I never claimed I had great art skillz, I've seen people do things miles better than the stuff I've done on here, but I also rely on a sense of humor and current events in teh world of baseball, but mostly the Red Sox since a) they are my team and b) They're the ones I know the most about

So when did you start this shit up?

It was around December of 2005 when I came across the Artpad Painter thingie, about a year after I discovered it for reals. I just began to draw random Red Sox related things for a while just for shits and giggles for my friends and for my buddies on the Royal Rooters and Live Journal. I abandoned it for a couple months but picked it back up again around April or so, maybe even late March and have been doing it regularly since then. I was encouraged by a few friends to branch out into a blog, so thus here I'm at.

Why is this all Red Sox related?

Dude, the Red Sox are my team. I have love for some other MLB teams, but the Red Sox are what I know and what I see on an everyday basis. However, I do sometimes branch out into other teams and such, but not too often.

I have a request, do you take requests?

Why yes, yes I do. It may take a while or it may take an instant, but I do take requests adn I usually do my damndest to honor those requests.

Where do I send them to?

Send them to or just drop a line on my LJ or PM me on Royal Rooters. I do have a few players I don't really like to draw up.

WTF w/ all the links?

I give propers like there's no tomorrow, kids. If I get an idea from something, I like to source it and I like to give credit where credit's due. And also they help further explain the ideas that have gotten into my head through the benefit of friends/family/what I read in the newspaper

Piney, you're cracked out and need to get a life.

Yeah, I know I know, I hear it all the time. I take pride in my cracked out-ness. And my life...well I'm starting to get's gonna be a while since baseball season eats up most of my life.

So who are your favorite players?

This is gonna end up in three division...just gonna do a top 5(no actual order) in each one

Red Sox: David Ortiz, Tim Wakefield, Adam Stern, Alex Cora, Manny Ramirez...I could go on but that wouldn't be nice

MLB: Bronson Arroyo(Reds), Paul Konerko(White Sox), Edgar Renteria(Braves), Ted Lilly(Blue Jays), Orlando Cabrera(Angels)

All-Time: Luis Tiant(Red Sox), Hank Aaron(Braves), Larry Walker(Expos/Rockies/Cardinals), Johnny Pesky(Red Sox), Roger Maris(Royals/Yankees/Cardinals)

Are you one of those pink-hat wearing casual fan bitches?

Oh hellll no! Let me just say for teh record just because you wear a pink hat(which I'd never wear but I know a few who are actually pretty knowledgable) doesn't mean that you're a dumb fangirl. What makes you a dumb fangirl is that you're a fan of "Player X" more than "Team X" or "Baseball in itself" I pride myself in being a baseball fan first and foremost, THEN a Red Sox fan and THEN a "Player X" fan It's just the way I roll

And now that you know how I roll, hopefully you'll comment and gimme feedback because Feedback=awesome! :D

Papi's Only Fear

When the chips are down and you have only one last hope left, Big Papi is always there to save the day, like a modern day Superman, but a lot more fun. Hell, I think he said he looked up to Captain America as a kid. However, as every superhero has, they got one weakness. Superman has Kryptonite, for example. As for Big Papi? Two Words: First. Base. But like every superhero, they overcome their weaknesses for the greater of good. So here's to Papi overcoming that one weakness and not let it get to if only he can beat that goddamn shift.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Like Father like....Son?!

Jonathan Papelbon seems to look up to Mike Timlin, and with good reason. Timlin is a veteran and has been doing the job in the bullpen for many years now. He's been a damn good veteran presences and isn't afraid to pass along his own pearls of wisdom upon the younger ones. However, upon looking at, I have looked at some of the pictures from the May 5th game, and it seems that Papelbon does more than look up to Timlin. He simply subconsciously imitates him (see the shirt underneath) to the conclusion that I(and the owner of the site) think Timlin has adopted him as his other son. Not only is this pretty damn adorable, but worthy of a funny ass Artpad.

Two Artpad Tributes to 2004

I was in a mad nostalgic mood last night when I was up last night with the offday and I was thinking back to 2004.

The first one has a background thingie of two images that stuck with me from back in 2003. The first one was just Wakefield crying to himself,(warning: do not view picture if you don't wanna get verklempt) I had Ortiz comforting him in that background thingie because to me, Ortiz represents the team in itself adn how they rallied behind him after that, because they knew damn well it wasn't his fault. The other thing, which actually DID happen, was Trot Nixon taking out the jugs of Gatorade as he was going into the clubhouse, out of anger. The front thingie is just Papi and Wake with the trophy, those two(along with Tek) embody the Boston Red Sox. And that song quote is from "Dream On"-Aerosmith, as I said there :P

The second one was inspired by Progressive Boink(the same guys behind The Dugout) who did a thing called "Baseball's Tribute to Shel Silverstein" which was very good, but the last one they did to "Listen to the Mustn'ts" was what got me all verklempt, as it was a tribute to the Red Sox' 2004 World Series run. I don't think I captured it as well as they did, but I did what I could, and I used Dave Roberts' stolen base because that was the sparkplug to the hope in a lot of poeple's hearts. However, I will humbly submit that I believed the entire time :) (the second link is the legit one...the first one I just posted up last October to the public to explain that I did believe and I'm not shitting you all...and if you can't see the second one, then it's probably in a members only kinda thing)

Leskanic, you sonofabitch!

Not much is said about Curtis Leskanic, who is one of the main reasons the Red Sox did what they did in the 2004 ALCS. He's probably more remembered for the line Johnny Pesky exclaimed about him during the Ring Ceremony in 2005 or for the whole thing in Damon's crap book about him "rolling around naked". Here's a guy about 36 years old, with his career basically at a crossroads and his shoulder a piece of crapola. He was rocked the night before and now there were two outs in the top of the 11th inning with the bases loaded and Bernie Williams at the bat. The bullpen is pretty dead so they send in Leskanic, their last hope basically. So what does Leskanic do? Oh nothing really, except he induces a fly ball out from Bernie and goes one more inning, ultimately picking up the win in Game 4 of the ALCS, the starting point of The Greatest Comeback in Baseball(maybe Sports) History. I mean some people have recognized it. But not enough. Anyways that was his last outing of his career, and man oh man, what a way to go out. Oh and that quote? He did actually say that.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Sternie's Serenade

For the record, this actually happened. And Adam Stern is one of my favorite players right now. Why? I have no idea, I think maybe because he comes across as the kind of dude I could just kick back and drink slushies with until it's time to go. That's part of it I think, but mainly I like the way the kid plays. He goes all out, and while sometimes it can get him in trouble, all in all it's just the way he rolls. He just needs some work on his hitting, and he can be quite the ballplayer, hell Papi thinks so. Also, he's a funny dude. Also, I drew this because the thought of Manny dressed as a Mountie amused me too much to not draw it.

Cabby and the Handshakes

This one is done up more as a "throwback to the days of Orlando Cabrera" and also per the request of Zenit2k9 on Royal Rooters. This is also sort of for my friend D who adores Cabrera and also NU, who has confessed to a mancrush on the fella, which is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, since my brother has a mad mancrush on Mike Lowell. We all know the Cabrera Handshakes, hell Eric Frede won a Sports Emmy on a feature about it shown during the Red Sox rally before the ALDS in 04(unfortunately, I didn't see this since I DIDN'T HAVE NESN AT MY SCHOOL AT THE TIME!!! RARR) But anyways, I sitll have love for the Cabby and hope he's doing well in the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Orange County of California of the West Coast of the United States of North America of the Eastern Hemisphere of the World. Yeah...I'm a dork.

Bill Mueller is....Tom Sawyer

Per the request of the always fabulous Empy of Empyreal Environs fame, I did up a picture of Bill Mueller dressed as Tom Sawyer. Now I hate drawing guitars/banjos/stringed instruments but I did what I could. And also it looked fitting. Doesn't look 100% like him but I did what I could. Oh yes and the line at the top of the thing is indeed from the song "Tom Sawyer"-Rush which is very likely why Empy requested it, since that song is Bill Mueller's at-bat music. You know, now that I think about it, I should've probably had one of him killing a fruitbat with a baseball bat

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Pedro and the Mango Tree

First off, I wanna say that I have no hateration on Pedro Martinez and I believe that nobody here should have any hate for him, well the ones who are Red Sox fans. He gave the Red Sox the best years of his career and he pitched his heart out. Sure he had his moments where he was fussy and kinda diva-esque, but it doesn't make him a bad person. And despite what Dirt Dogs likes to say, I'm not the only Red Sox fan who feels this way. I did this per the request of another Pedro fan, BoSoxGirl75 over at Royal Rooters. We all know the infamous "mango tree" line after Game 2 of the ALCS, I don't think I need to rehash it. But anyways, when Pedro comes back to Fenway, cheer him on. He deserves it. Fuck what Dirt Dogs says, he's just looking to start shit anyway, and he's coming off has a HUGE hypocrite by saying that the Red Sox fans should cheer Damon but boo Pedro. They both did the same thing, left for the bigger paycheck, which I don't blame either of them, but at least Pedro didn't go to the Yankees and he seems to have "let it go" despite a few moments of mehh.

Okay I'm gonna shut up now...sorry I just got in a ranty kinda mood

Doug Mirabelli's Pimp Walk

Okay, I apologize that he looks mad fruity here. The reason this came to be? Well it's John Travolta Mojo today with NU's Mojo and Musings today. I wanted to do something in light of Saturday Night Fever, and I mean what better person to use than Doug Mirabelli, the stud who hits bombs?! Apparently though, as I kept drawing, he looked fruitier and fruitier. And for that, I apologize. Oh and I HAD to include the infamous rolly bag. I can imagine all the stuff that's in there: catching gear, porno mags, shoes, all his teammates' credit cards, chicken parm, you know the Doug Mirabelli basics.

Papi on "The Ortiz Shift"

David Ortiz has a slight problem right now. He's been slumping lately, as we all know, and as of last year, teams have been putting on "The Ortiz Shift" which seems to have robbed him of quite a few hits. While he has bunted for a single a couple times, you can't count on that all the time. I think if David Ortiz could somehow show is opinion on the shift, it would go a little something like this. You can go ahead and imagine him like Ignignokt on Aqua Teen Hunger Force saying "I hope they see this because I'm doing it as hard as I can"

Mike Lowell: Mr. Double

This is one of my many series of "Player Portrait" sort of series. In a way you could count in the Springer one. This one is on the American League leader in Doubles, Mike Lowell. Lowell is slowly becoming one of my new favorites, but then again this whole 2006 squad I'm really liking from Loretta to Lowell to Stern(even though he's in Pawtucket right now) to Timlin and so on and so forth. Also, Mike Lowell rocks at life because he's actually got a pretty cool sense of humor(see the Cookie Off video for explanation) and a fellow Piscean at that! So he gets brownie points there. But anyways, yeah this is probably my favorite "Player Portrait" one at least as of now.

Russ Springer is my hero

As we all know, Houston Astros pitcher Russ Springer was ejected in the 5th inning of last nights Giants/Astros game for intentionally throwing at Barry Bonds. If you don't know that then you suck. While Giants fans aren't probably too thrilled with it, I for one am happy and will probably buy Russ Springer a beer if I ever meet the guy. I salute him for having the balls for throwing at Bonds. Now part of me wonders if he'll just insist he was "giving information" ala Trot Nixon. BTW, I wonder if anybody will sponsor his Baseball Reference page right's only $10. Whether it's wrong or right, I don't care, I'm just glad to see Bonds knocked on his ass intentionally.

I'm gonna say as a quick disclaimer that I do like the Giants, I just hate Barry Bonds w/ a passion and I think he's actually hurting his team. :P But of course, that's just my own opinion.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Trot's Bitching New Ride

This one was inspired by The Dugout which you all must read if you enjoy the random baseball humor. Just trust me on that one. Basically in this strip, it involves Trot Nixon on a zamboni running over Barry Bonds. That alone=awesome. Now I suck at drawing zambonis but I did my damndest. And dude, I think Trot Nixon would so drive one if he could. Trot Nixon is awesomeness anyway, and you haven't lived until you see him do the Cookie Monster impression.

Ugly Discrimination!

I drew this on a whim while watching the game today at the urging of a friend of mine. She wanted me to draw up something involving that incident from last night Julian Tavarez and Jeff Conine. I had a lot of different ideas but mainly I just stood by this one, I say he gets warned upon almost instantly because he's ugly. Those umpires are real haters like that you know. Yeah it's kinda lame but I did what I could

Manny Delcarmen aka Manny from the Hood

I did up this one on Manny Delcarmen because I just simply adore the kid. He's got a nasty fastball(into the upper 90's at best) and he can be one helluva setup man if he keeps it up and perhaps a closer? We'll see. But I like him. Also, I kinda drew this one up because I like to draw his eyelashes. He's pretty like a girl, not cute or hot...just pretty. Okay I'll shut up right now, but I can't wait till he can develop that curveball so he can help the Red Sox. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Stargazing with Papi and Lenny

I kinda thought this one up as I was looking over some WBC stuff, and I pondered how far that Papi HR in the WBC vs Cuba went. This is my simple, silly answer to that question. And why did I use Lenny? Mehh, he was the only one I could think of at the time. I mean, I'm pretty sure if that was an outdoor park in Japan, that bomb he hit when he visited Japan for the US/Japan exhibition would still be in orbit and probably passing over Boston Also, the WBC was a great idea, just needs a little better execution next time around. Oh and if the US could actually play with a little passion, that couldn't hurt either. I dunno it seemed everbody there save for Griffey, Tek, Timlin, and a couple others, nobody really gave a shit. I'd go on, but I'm gonna rant my ass off and the like, but I will say that I was rooting for Canada :P

My Binky: Bronson Arroyo

We all have our "binkies" aka players that we love unconditionally and irrationally defend. I have my small list, but the number 1 on that list for now until probably the day he retires is Bronson Arroyo. I hate being colored as a fangirl, just because I friggin LOVE Bronson, but sometimes it happens. I've been a fan of Bronson's since I'd say mid-2003 when he was lighting it up for the Pawtucket Red Sox. I was impressed with the way he pitched and I loved his pitching motion, and he was dominating them there. I remember reading about his perfect game and just feeling so proud of him like a parent in a weird way. And then his callup and Red Sox debut which was vs the Mariners on August 25, 2003, in relief of Pedro Martinez, I remember driving around listening on the radio as I was coming home from errands and hearing Bronson go his three innings to pick up his first ever save. It made me giddy inside. And well, since then, I've just been a big fan of his. I also remember attending a game on July 9, 2004 where Bronson pitched and he was dominant, and made those Rangers players look like his bitches. It was awesome. Yeah I do think he's kinda hot and all, but I try to push that aside for the most part. There's a right time and a right place for those things. Anyways, the day he got traded, I was majorly bummed out, and a little pissed at the Front Office but all in all, it had to be done. I'm happy for Bronson for the success he's been having in Cincy, and I'm still pulling for him, however if he faces the Red Sox again, I'm gonna pull for him to suck a lot. I am a Red Sox fan first, after all...

Sweet Mark Loretta

Yeah that's what I call Mark Loretta, it just rolls off the tongue easily and it's kinda in reference to a lyric in the Beatles' song "Get Back" But Mark Loretta is slowly becoming one of my new favourites. His defense is better than advertised and he's a helluva hitter, despite that cold streak. He's also starting to cement himself as a Yankee Killer, and more and more, as the days go by he reminds me of "The Professional" Bill Mueller(Go figure that Mark Loretta is number 7 in the list of "Similar Batters" for Mueller). This pic is also inspired by the walkoff game on Patriot's Day, and I must link you to this picture of the crowding around home plate,(at least in case you haven't seen it already) hands down one of the most beautiful pictures ever. Also, Mark Loretta's at-bat music is "Low Rider"-War and that alone makes him awesome.

A non-goofy Manny artpad?! Surely, you jest...

I'm not jesting....and don't call me Shirley! But seriously, as much as I goof on Manny and his manchildlike sense of wonder, he is probably one of the greatest hitters of this generation and actually is not THAT bad of a fielder, he's improved greatly, and he can play that wall at Fenway like nobody's business. His arm is also pretty damn good. I mean he's no Torii Hunter, but the dude can field pretty decently. Now watch him make like 2 errors tonight. But yes, I love Manny and nobody works harder at his craft than him...despite his ADD-type brainfarts(I'm convinced he has ADD, this spoken from a fellow ADD sufferer). Also on the Airplane! reference, ever notice the striking similarities of Don Orsillo and Otto Pilot?

Jason Varitek: The Captain

I don't really talk much about Tek, I'm not as enamoured with him as I am with guys like Adam Stern, Papelbon, Papi, Loretta, Coco among others, but I do appreciate him. I think he's a great catcher(though I think that his whole "handling the pitchers" stuff is completely overblown, but I still say he does a pretty good job) I think that making him the captain of the team was good idea. And I look forward to the rest of Tek's contract. Now if only his bat would start getting hot...


I was probably one of like 10 people who were fans of Edgar Renteria during his year here. I'm sitll a fan of his. He had a rough go at it with the Red Sox, and succumbed to the pressures of the place in the form of 30 errors. I felt bad for him, because he really did try, but he was battling injuries and confidence issues it seemed. Now he's in Atlanta and I think that's best for him, because there are just some players who can't really handle the pressures of some high market teams like the Yanks, Mets, Red Sox, Phillies amongst some of them. I still say he would've bounced back big time in Boston if he stuck around, but when you get a deal like Andy Marte for Edgar Renteria, you make it. And while Marte was spun off to Cleveland, it was all for the best. Yep I'm still rooting for Edgar to make it through.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Manny and Millar: BFFs

I did this one per the request of Lissa, who emailed me about doing a Manny and Millar reunion, which made me realize that I haven't exactly done one on these two who I jokingly called the "Baseball Boyfriends" but yeah I did this up in tribute to them. Kinda simple, but hey, it works. :) Hope you enjoyed it, Lissa

Tim Wakefield in "Singin' in the Rain"

Today's Artpad is the third one done on rain from me. This one came in inspiration to the movie [i]Singin' in the Rain[/i] Now the easy way out is to have Manny re-enacting this famous scene, but I like a good challenge. So I racked my brain and came up with Wakefield, who seems like the kind of guy who'd do this(probably while drunk but bear with me) and who probably has a secret stash of musicals deep under his bed next to the porn. The lyrics that Wakefield is singing, is the actual song sung by Gene Kelly. So here ye go.

BTW, Feedback and Requests=awesome. Requests can go to :P Just be polite and I'll do any ol' team(yes even the Yankees if need be...but I draw the line at any Jeter/A-Rod pics). Oh yeah and just so you know, just click on the pic to get it full-sized.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Theo's Negociation Process

As we all know, there's four teams in the running for Roger Clemens. The four teams being the Astros, Yankees, Rangers, and Red Sox. So far, the Yankees and Red Sox are leading in his mind, and while the Red Sox may also have Al Nipper, they may need that extra oomph. Enter Trot Nixon. The way Trot Nixon is posed in this picture is inspired by this photo taken by, a pretty spiffy place for Red Sox pictures. Girl's gotta good eye for photography. I can't find the official stats of Trot vs Clemens, but trust me, Trot Nixon made Roger Clemens cry himself to sleep at night with the way he hit off of him.