Bullpen Misfits

The Bullpen Misfits consists of "Hide your children! It's" Julian Tavarez and Rudy "My head is a block of spam" Seanez. I mean it lovingly, for they haven't sucked out loud lately. Hell those two kept the Red Sox in the game last night so this is my way of thanking them. Now, as you may tell, these two are just ridiculously good-looking. So of course, I have to do something to honor that. Though despite all the ugly, these are two guys I wouldnt' wanna fuck with. For one thing, Julian Tavarez? He's fucking crazy. And Seanez participates in Ultimate Fighting martial arts in the offseason for his workout regimen. Yeah um...I'm just gonna say that I'm glad their crazy is on my team's side.

Hunting with Timlin and the Nuge

Per the request of my pal nomahsgirl who wanted to see a pic with Ted Nugent and Mike Timlin in it doing something. She called it a "Badassery Overload" So of course I had to do it up. And what the hell do you think they'd do? Knit a sweater for Papelbon? Hell no, they'd go bowhunting and kill stuff. And wear lots and lots of camo. And Timlin will look all gritty and dirty and bangable...okay I'm gonna stop now because my head is exploding. Yes I have an unnatural old man crush on Mike Timlin...you all stop judging me you haters!

*Timlin pictures credit to mtimlin.com which rocks at life*

Ted Lilly's Vengeance

This was done per the request of my friend Jeffery who wanted something to do with "Rodrigo Lopez, Ted Lilly or Bruce Chen" I picked Lilly for reasons I talk of below. Ahh yes, the 2003 ALDS. It was a fabulous time from Games 3-5, if you were a Red Sox fan. But yet at the same time, I loathed the 2003 Oakland A's. I had a few exceptions, but most of them were dillholes and I hated them. Ted Lilly was on that team, and I think we all remember him best during that series for the "Lilly" chant during Game 3 while he was pitching. What we don't remember is how well Lilly pitched. But anyways through all the antics of that said ALDS, me thinks Lilly has a little vengeance on his side towards the Red Sox and thus why he kills the Red Sox. Just a theory.

However I do have a little confession to make. I LIKE Ted Lilly. He's one of my favorite pitchers. I know I know, he kills the Red Sox and I should hate him, but I can't help it! I like the way he pitches when he does well, it just sucks that most of the time, it's against the Red Sox. I will say his one start where he shutout the Red Sox like 3-0 in August of 04, that was probably the only game I wasn't really pissed off about losing that year. The guy pitched a helluva game, gotta tip your cap and move on.

Messing with David Wells' Cake

Probably one of the more famous quotes from David Wells comes from around the trading deadline of 2005 concerning Manny Ramirez. Wells had come off of a great outing and he wasn't exactly too enthused with Manny's latest antics, so he muttered the line "I love Manny, but the guy is messing with my cake right now" Something about a fat guy saying that cracks me up incessantly. As for the "sitting on you" part, well I think I may hafta direct you to this certain Artpad for an explanation. Now things are good, Manny's still a Red Sox and he actually loves it! Personally, I do think that Manny literally messed with Boomer's cake...at least once or twice. I have Papelbon joining him because I couldn't think of anybody else.

Coco and Dunkin Donuts Smoothies

Done per the request of one of my LJ buddies, hopeless4him. She wanted one of Coco serving up Dunkin Donuts smoothies, as he did in a store in Boston along with Josh Beckett. Meanwhile, in Providence, they had Jonathan Papelbon at one of them. Now, I've worked at a Dunkin Donuts for a good 5 years now, but I'm more in the suburbs by the beaches. Actually, our store is the "go to place" for anybody whose hitting up the beaches. So I'm a little bitter at the fact htat Papelbon was at a DD in Providence and I was stuck in my little ol' town w/o any supercool stuff like that happening. :( That makes me sad in the heart. BUT we do have a contest amongst a bunch of Dunkin Donuts around in which the store that sells the highest percentage/customers or some shit like that of smoothies get Red Sox tickets. So...umm....welcome smoothies and buy one or else! :P Also I can't draw Coco Crisp to save my life, but I'll get better at it in due time. Oh and a small DD related tip: if you're watching your weight and want a Coffee Coolata, use Milk or Skim Milk...the difference in calories is mad significant. Using Cream is like a fat pill.

Josh Beckett Loves His Catcher

Okay for the record, no I don't think these two are actually gay. But the one thing about the Red Sox as of recent is that they seem to be not so afraid to show their affection towards their teammates and even coaches/managers. Hell, even the children of some broadcasters. And as for this? It actually did happen and it was shown on the Dunkin Montage during a O's/Red Sox game. My friend Pam rocks at life and screencapped it. This is actually per the request of my friend Alexandra who wanted a pic of Beckett and Tek. So here you go, hope you like it :)

*Oh and for the record....that first pic I linked to is one of the coolest/best/most purty pictures ever, IMHO

The Tito Chicken Dance

I'll admit freely that I love Terry Francona in the sense of I like his managing(for the most part, I do disagree with some things he does but when push comes to shove, he's one of the better ones out there) and his sense of humor. Hell I could probably come up with a whole page on Tito quotes that I love. But anyways, what I do love the best probably is the way he gets when he's arguing. He gets all angry, sarcastic and sassy, and starts acting a little like a chicken. It's hilarious. I look forward to the arguments with the umps so I can see the "Tito Chicken Dance" he totally like pecks at them and puts his hands on his hips and sometimes puts them upwards and you keep wondering if he's gonna just fly away. It's greatness. Thus this artpad is what it is.

Boston's New Yankee Killer

Ahh yes the Yankee Killers. They come many different sizes, shapes, forms, and teams. All of them binded together on the ability to successfully kill the Yankees and make them their collective bitch. The newest addition to the club is Mark Loretta, the Red Sox' newest second baseman. His numbers right now(though not counting the 2-2 thus far in the game) is .480 BA, 6 runs scored, 6 RBIs, 12 hits, and a 1.000 OPS. I just thought I'd draw it up to tribute to that superfantasticzomggoodness. :)

Wakey and the Sleeping Bats

Poor Tim Wakefield. His ERA is nearly identical to Josh Beckett's ERA(actually as of now, 2 points lower) and has been our most consistent starter, but yet he gets almost zero run support, ranking 47 out of 50 AL pitchers in Run Support. At first we figured, okay maybe it's just Josh Bard, but then it is realized that the bats just seem to fall asleep start after start after start. Actually this started in small signs back in 2005, but now it's just friggin redonkulous. Sometimes I joke that the only way he could ever win a game is if he pitched a perfect game, but then he'd probably lose that too somehow. I drew this more also as a wakeup call for the bats. and also, it's kinda cute to think of the players sleeping on the floor, Trot with his Cookie Monster plushie he got from Gabe(aka the Cookie-Off prize) and Papi with a bat by his side. Hopefully that airhorn works.

Red Sox Infielders

I had an idea of mainly just A-Gonz and Loretta kinda standing back to back with gloves in tow going "Dare to hit it past us..." but then I realized that I suck at drawing those two. And then I had an idea of a Three Musketeers-esque sort of thing, which I settled with using the entire Red Sox infield(Lowell, A-Gonz, Loretta, and Youks) Not my greatest drawing, but I kinda was stuck on what to do. And no spiffy linkage cuz I got nothing really. :P

Manny and the Scoreboard

This was inspired by an entry from my pal maggiesox who was at the Phillies/Red Sox game on Sunday. She wrote about how Manny was transfixed w/ the scoreboard and always turned around to look at it between innings. He seemed more into the "find the baseball" thingie on one of the videos. I'm not 100% sure on Citizen's Bank Ballpark and the way it looks, but maybe some of Manny's rough at-bats there have to do with that scoreboard distracting him perhaps? Anyways, it was screaming for an Artpadding, so here ye go.

HOLY TOLEDO LOOK HOW SQUEAKY MY ARM IS

I did this for my LJ buddy ebjim. He's a good guy, and wanted a Jim Thome picture because of The Dugout and the fact that his name is Jim. So I did this one up. Very simple explanation. As for the caption, it's meant to be that way. If you read The Dugout, you'll understand. Yeah I had to edit this one because I unconciously put a 24 to his jersey instead of 25...a Manny moment of sorts you could say.

Roger Maris

Yes, I did an artpad on a Yankee. But you know what? I like Roger Maris, he's one of my favorites, Yankee or not. The guy was treated pretty shitty in 1961 when he was going for 61 homeruns. There was a bit of a race between him and Mickey Mantle, but as the year went on, it was up to Maris to do it. Well the Yankee fans, they didn't take too kindly that he was to be the one to do it, getting death threats and getting shit thrown at him. He was a good guy just caught up in a bunch of publicity, which just wasn't really his style. What's really a shame is that his record was put in an asterisk up until his death in 1985, and was only removed posthumously.

Larry Walker: a Childhood Favorite

Along in the realm of All-Time Favorites, I bring you Larry Walker. He was an outfielder for the Montreal Expos, Colorado Rockies, and St. Louis Cardinals. As a kid, I had my short phase in the mid-90's where I was a Rockies fan. Why? I still question completely why but I think it was a combination of Ellis Burks, Dante Bichette, and Walker who got me hooked. Add in Coors Field and the thin air there, and you had yourself quite the offensive powerhouse. I was drawn to Walker though, and I followed him the most passionately throughout his career. I feel bad that he wasn't able to retire with a World Series ring to his name, though his closest chance that WASN'T Selig-influenced(yes I'm still bitter about the strike which not only ruined the Expos' chances that year, but ruined the team itself, they had a great thing going before that strike and were never the same since) well...that was 2004 and well, sorry Larry, but I'm a Red Sox fan.

Luis Tiant: Badassed Mofo

Luis Tiant is probably my all-time favorite player. He was balls out in every game, and he always gave his heart out to his teams. While he started his career in Cleveland, he's basically defined as a Red Sox player. I loved the way that he played, balls out and with so much heart and soul into his game. Also, he was a colorful character off the field, being a notorious prankster and with a love of cigars, not to mention quite the quotesmith. Oh and who can forget the windup? Yeah Luis Tiant is great.

Manny Hugs for the Phanatic

First off, sorry bout that FAQ thing, I just put that up there in hopes to be archived and shit so peopel can check it out when they come visit here. Just in case anybody had any idea. Next, onto this drawing. First off, I recommend you all to read this Page 2 Thing involving Manny Giving Advice(real or not? Who cares still funny shit). Scroll down to the mascot part, and try to NOT be disturbed And well from there, I got this idea. I'm cool w/ the Phillie Phanatic, just aslong as he doesn't try to kidnap our star hitters again.